Hmm.

I am glad to have a blogger again. To let feelings out and just take a load off.

Sometimes when nostalgia hits, I get really down on myself. I start to think, that maybe moving to New Jersey 5 years ago is what set off everything bad in my life the past 5.

Bad Things:

1. Things with Matt (they got better though and we are still together)

2. Grandma going into a nursing home. (She now doesn't even know who I am)

3. My dad lost the house, he now lives in an apartment.

4. My brother died. (I still can't handle that at all)


I just feel like my life is gonna get worse. In some aspects it has, I feel like I can't make the right choices when it comes to anything anymore.

The one thing saving me from me anything, is my faith, and my friends. I don't know what I'd do without them. I feel some slipping away from me, and that hurts like no ones business. But I know sometimes its best to just move on. I just feel like every time I try to move on, something bad happens. D: I really don't want anything bad to happen, so I try to just do nothing.

Blah, I need to stop depressing myself. It doesn't take to much to make me cry anymore and I can't do that before work. *sigh* My job is becoming more of a hassle then it used to. It used to be easy and breezy, and now its like a tornado of madness that never stops.

Sometimes I think therapy might help, but I really can't afford it. But at least I can get some feelings out without revealing to much.

Thank Gosh vacation is 3 days away. Friday get here fast so I can just get away!!! :)

♡Manda♡